What Are the Best Books on Codependency?
Whether you struggle with codependent traits, are wondering if your current relationship has turned into codependency, or are watching a friend or family member in a codependent relationship and wondering how to help, it’s important for everyone to have a thorough understanding of what codependency really looks like.
Keep reading to discover our top book recommendations that explore codependency—and how to heal and move forward from it.
What Is Codependency?
While codependency is not an official diagnosis, it is marked by consistent patterns of prioritizing the needs, problems, and preferences of others above your own needs in a relationship. These relationships are not always romantic; friendships and family relationships can also be codependent.
Common signs of codependency include:
Low self-esteem and relying on others for validation
Difficulty setting or keeping healthy boundaries
People-pleasing to avoid conflict or rejection
Perfectionism or being overly self-critical
Neglecting your own needs, desires, or wellbeing
While all relationships require support, care, and moments of selflessness, these things should be mutual. If one person is consistently sacrificing their needs, identity, or wellbeing to focus on the other person and is not also receiving support, maintaining independence, or having their boundaries respected, the relationship may be codependent.
What Are the Best Books on Codependency?
Whether you’re trying to learn more about codependency to support the people in your life or rebuilding and healing from a codependent relationship, here are the top books on codependency that our therapists recommend.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
Often considered the gold standard of codependency-related literature, Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie has been helping people with codependency issues regain their sense of self and move forward from codependent relationships for forty years.
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
If you’ve ever struggled to understand attachment theory, Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller helps readers learn about different attachment styles and how those attachment styles influence relationships. While this book explores more than just codependency, it’s a valuable resource for people seeking to build more secure, fulfilling connections with others.
Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
In Women Who Love Too Much, relationship and marriage therapist Robin Norwood dives into the addictive nature of unhealthy relationships. While this book speaks specifically to female readers, it provides a great framework for finding and sustaining healthy romantic relationships that all readers can learn from.
Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum
According to Anxiously Attached, roughly 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style. Throughout this book, Baum guides readers through identifying their own relationship style and learning how that style can impact relationships through unhealthy patterns like codependency. It’s an informative, compassionate read that emphasizes the importance of boundaries, clear communication, and healthy patterns.
The Language of Letting Go by Melanie Beattie
Another fantastic book by Melanie Beattie, The Language of Letting Gois a book of daily meditations for people working to break free from codependent patterns and relationships. It highlights the importance of self-care and empowers readers to take accountability and responsibility for creating a better, healthier path forward.
The Road Back to Me by Lisa A. Romano
Sometimes, there’s nothing more priceless in your healing journey than hearing from someone who walked through your present struggle and made it to the other side. In The Road Back to Me, Lisa A. Romano shares her story of discovering in her mid-thirties that she was codependent. As Romano revisits the experiences and patterns from her childhood that went on to shape her relationships as an adult, she gives readers the space to feel seen and understood by someone who’s been where they’re standing.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
A deeply powerful read for anyone in the trenches of recovering from trauma, The Body Keeps the Score shares the scientific research behind how trauma rewires not only your brain, but also your body. The book is focused on growth, and presents a hopeful, recovery-driven perspective for readers seeking to reclaim their identity—and, ultimately, their life.
Overcome Codependency With the Support of Therapists Who Care
Codependency can feel overwhelming and all-encompassing. But at Aspire Psychology, we believe it’s possible to build healthy, lasting, supportive relationships that are safe and respectful of your personal boundaries.
Whether you’re trying to understand your own relational patterns and attachment style or seeking support as you heal from a codependent relationship, our therapists are here for you every step of the way. Contact us today to take the first step.
